I want to blog. I want to share. But I don’t want to share everything, all the time. I don’t want to spend my time turning my life into content.
I don’t want to share the contents of my life. I want to share the insights I’m gaining from those contents.
When I started this blog, I was deep into the world of online content and social media. I had built an entire business around it. Freelancing for clients and creating social media content for them. Teaching my coaching clients how to brand their voice and show up online for their people. And in order to promote my services, I had to lead by example. I had to practice what I was preaching. So I posted. And shared. And posted. And shared. All. Day. Long.
At first, it was pretty fun. Coming up with content and taking pretty pictures and gaining followers. It felt good. But over time, that faded. I began to resent my work. I developed a deep resentment for social media. It all felt so pointless. And that made it very hard to do my job. How was I supposed to teach other people to show up online and write content for them when I thought it was all a bunch of BS?
So, I took a break. I didn’t know how long the break would be. I had taken breaks before for a week at a time, but always found my way back. Not this time. I have been dark now for about 6 months. And I don’t have any plans of returning. Which leads me to my current dilemma. I want to blog. But I don’t want to be online. How can I make this work?
I’m not a lifestyle blogger. I’m not a fashion blogger. I’m not a beauty blogger or mommy blogger or business blogger or fitness blogger. So the question is, can I still be a blogger without labeling myself and presenting myself within the confines of that label?
I am a person. A woman. A stepmom. A fur mom. A wife. A daughter. A friend. A writer. A neighbor. A vegetarian. A traveler. A joker. A napper. A yogi. A Netflixer. A thinker. An over-thinker. A reader. A lover.
I can drape myself in a self-sewn quilt of different labels.
I want to share. Or, rather, I need to share. As I’ve been in the process of recovering from anxiety and depression, talk therapy has been an enormous help. I sit down and talk to my therapist once a week or so and she listens without judgement and lets me unpack my messy bags.
Talking it out has become my medicine. Prescribed. The thing is, I can’t go to therapy every day. All day. And the therapy helps, in the moment. Like the short-lived high of a strong drug. Right to the blood stream. Euphoria. All the problems disappear. So much clarity. Until I walk out the door and get back into my car. And the phone rings. Or the day ends. And everyone comes home. And unpacks their bags. Filling mine back up.
What I mean to say is, the help is good but it doesn’t last. Its as if as soon as I’m done unpacking, someone else is close behind refilling my bag.
So I need an outlet to share. To talk. More frequently. Without judgement. Without fear of how I’m coming off. How I sound. If I’m making sense.
We’re all doing it anyway, right? Sharing. Over sharing. Dumping out our bags all over the Internet, ala Ally Sheedy in The Breakfast Club. We all get it now. For every smiling baby picture, we know there’s a sleep deprived mom posting online to regain some connection with the world. For every “I’m so lucky and happy and great” there’s an insecure heart guiding hollow hands over a keyboard, desperate to turn those words to truth. Why not share the truth?
We’re sharing anyway. Constantly. Minute by minute. Crafting. Curating. Showing off. Reaching. Grasping. Desperate for connection. Why can’t we just start sharing the truth?
The truth is, life is fucking hard. For everyone. Everyone has their own hard. And it feels just as dark and real and heavy and suffocating and endless as everyone else’s. Our biggest mistake is in believing we’re alone. As if our own stories are unique. As if we aren’t all inherently intertwined and interconnected. As if we don’t all have something to learn from one another.
But life is hard because its also beautiful and miraculous and divine. We need the bad in order to appreciate the good.
So, I am re-dedicating myself to this little corner of the Internet in an effort to learn. To learn from my experiences and to learn from yours. I would love for this to become a space for us to talk and share with each other. And until then, I will be unpacking my bags and exploring what comes tumbling out.
If you’d like to follow along, I invite you to subscribe to the blog. The signup form can be found on the right sidebar. You’ll get an email whenever a new post goes live. You can also follow on Bloglovin’ (this is where I’ve turned to consume my online content without having to sign into my social media accounts).
Love this approach. Can’t wait to see how it all unfolds.
Thanks so much! I’m excited to start sharing again. A lot has been going on these past 6 months 🙂
I LOVE this so much! I can relate to you 110%. I have a couple questions for you and I’m not sure whether to post them here or email you so I will just leave them here. I have been feeling called to get off social media for awhile now. I haven’t because it’s an addiction to me. I keep telling myself oh I will miss something or it’s how I keep in contact with my family that live in a different country then me. Did you feel this way at all? And how have you stayed off for so long without falling back into the trap? Thank you!
Hi there! I am so happy to hear you can relate and I’d love to answer your questions. I definitely had that concern at first. If you follow me online, you probably know I’ve “left social media” a few times before now. So it took a couple of tries. But what really made it official was when I realized being online was doing a lot more harm than good. That gave me the kick in the pants to find other ways to stay in touch with family and friends. I started calling/texting a lot more. Sending cards and care packages. Making time to see friends in person. I have signed back in to my social accounts every now and then to check in. I’m a part of a yoga class that has a group on FB that I like to check. I have friends who just had babies and I want to see their pictures. I just went through that whole hurricane scare and wanted to stay up-to-date. But I’ve deleted the apps off my phone and if I want to sign in, I use the browser and log out as soon as I’m done. The scrolling addiction is still there, for sure. I just use different means to the end. I’m on Pinterest a lot, getting ideas and discovering new blogs. I also use the Bloglovin’ app to follow bloggers and their stories. Other than that, I’ve been reading and writing a whole lot more. Plenty has been going on these past 6 months, so I’m excited to start sharing again on the blog. I don’t know if you’ve ever cut something out of your diet, like meat or sugar. But I liken it to that. It’s weird at first because that behavior has been so unconscious and ingrained. But after a while you realize just how damn good you feel without it. I don’t feel disconnected at all. In fact, I feel 100% more connected to my real life. Myself, my husband, my kids, my family, my friends. I feel a lot more grounded in reality. If you ever want to chat more about it, please don’t hesitate to reach out! You can always email me at lauren@loeyllc.com.
They say you can’t get someone to sign up if you aren’t offering a “lead magnet.” Guess you just proved that isn’t true. I just subscribed. Your vulnerability is compelling. M
Yay! Oh, I’m so glad to know my words resonated. And I’m super happy to have you here! I hope you like today’s newsletter. If you don’t get it, let me know. I think it sent after you subsribed so you should be on there 🙂
I love this post. I love everything about it to bits.
I’ve lost the shine and sheen of social media but I can’t quit, not just yet. Maybe I will in a few months or a year from now.
But so much of this post spoke to me. Signing up to receive your posts by email.
I agree that social is taking us away from writing and creating. It has to stop.
*Interestingly, I stumbled upon this on PInterest. Are you still sharing there? I recently re-discovered Pinterest and am in love with it. It’s creating and finding quality content that I love. I’ve followed you there as well 🙂
Hi there! I am so glad my words resonated with you. Yes, I do share on Pinterest and use it personally to find quality content and connect with other bloggers. I also do the same with Bloglovin’. I use a service called Buffer to share content on the blog’s FB page, facebook.com/mybrandofhappy. Staying off social media has been super healthy for me. Sometimes I’ll cave and find myself back on there. Mostly to scroll through my friends pages to see what they’ve been up to. But I’m not consuming all that extra content and that’s been great. I am so happy to have you here and I hope you continue to enjoy the content. Feel free to share with anyone else you might relate.
I have looked and looked everywhere for ”how to start a blog without social media” and then I finally came across your blog. How refreshing! I have been completely off of social media for about 6+ months as well and not looking back. But recently I’ve been really passionate about starting a blog and doing constant research but I just wasn’t sure that it was possible without having social media. Do u have any tips or maybe a blog post on how you started your blog without social media? I would love to read it! Thanks for the inspiration
Hi,
I came across this on Pinterest. It peeked my interest because I’ve been considering starting a blog. I’ve been reading a lot of articles about how to do so and one of the things I keep coming across is how important it is to define your niche. Such as lifestyle, traveling, or fashion. But all I really want to do is write about my experiences and life as it happens. I was very relieved to find that you are doing exactly that. Your words were very real and I appreciate your openness. Thank you!
Happy to know my words resonated with you. My background is in creative writing. And the motto over there has always been “write what you know”. So that’s the philosophy behind the blog. My “niche” is my personality. All the content is coming from the same place…me!
I love it! I’ll definitely keep reading your blog 🙂 Thanks again!
This is such a positive approach. I find myself in similar situations where I’m torn between enjoying the moment and snapping the right pic for blog content. I love the idea of sharing to express and not being glued to social media all day. I followed you on Bloglovin, I’m glad I found this today!
I’m so happy to have you here! I’m still trying to figure out the right balance. But I think as long as I’m mindful of how I’m using the platforms, I’m no the right path.
Thank you so much for this! I have been wanting to blog for months. Mostly because I feel I have real insights to share, but my biggest hold up is don’t want social media to be my life. I want to have a blog that makes some money with out selling my soul to social media or posting affiliates all over that I don’t actually use. I am in Pinterest but nothing else. Your post has been really encouraging!
I’m so glad to hear this!! And I can’t wait to read your blog 🙂 My only advice is to START. Get your words down. Even if they’re rough drafts. You can always go back and revise and format and change and design. Please make sure to share when you get started.
I’m know I’m finding this years after you wrote it, but I wanted to say how much I appreciate your position here. I blog too, and I’m fed up with all the constant presence everywhere. I have come to despise SM. Thanks for this, and I truly hope since your posting of this that you have figured out what works for you!
So happy this found you when it did! And yes! I absolutely have found a very happy place in my safe little corner of the internet. I share about the process very candidly in my IG content @mybrandofhappy and on my podcast The Perfcked Podcast. Hope to see you over there 🙂 We’d love to have you!