I read a lot of books about what to expect after having a baby, but none of them mentioned that I would completely lose my identity and need to find a new one.
My body changed. That’s an obvious one. I saw that one coming. My hair changed. I heard that might happen, but it was still a little alarming. But the one that took me by surprise was how much my sense of style changed.
When I finally emerged from that baby bubble, around two or three months postpartum, I had completely forgotten how to dress myself. I had been living in raggedy pajamas covered in spit up for the past few months, and when I finally got around to putting on real clothes…nothing made sense. My closet was full of crop tops and short shorts and clothes without any boob access. I felt so lost.
It took me a while to understand, but I finally came to the conclusion that I needed to rediscover my sense of style. I’m still very much in the middle of this process, but I’ve broken down my five most consistent looks, below. I basically rotate between these five outfits, changing up colors here and there.
I guess you could say I have unintentionally built a pseudo capsule wardrobe for stay at home moms.
House Clothes
Otherwise known as “pajamas”. I touched on this in my last post, but new moms really need decent pajamas. Especially moms that stay home with baby. We may not have much motivation (or time, or energy) to put on real clothes, so we spend a lot of time in our pajamas. I think its important to invest in a few pajama sets that you feel good in. Sometimes I even change out of the pajamas I slept in and into another pair just to feel like I got “dressed”. My favorite right now are Aerie brand sleepwear. But I also just order this set for the fall/winter and it looks so cozy!
Athleisure
Whoever coined this term is a genius and I am so grateful. I have always been of the mind that leggings are pants. And now, I don’t get all the side eyes when I walk around, because everyone is living their best life in leggings. I am so glad you have all crossed over! My favorite leggings right now are Lululemon. It took me a while before I finally caved and tried these on. I just couldn’t justify the price. I mean, I could get a three pack of leggings at Forever 21 for like $1, why on earth would I spend $100+ for the same thing at Lululemon? Ha, how dumb and naive I was. Lululemon leggings are a thing of sorcery. They feel like you’re naked. I wear them and I feel like I don’t have any pants on. That’s the dream people! They’re so soft and stretchy and hold everything where it ought to be. I’ve yet to pay full price for any of my Lululemon gear. I buy most of it off Poshmark, and the rest I get from the outlet mall.
Errands
The classic stay at home mom look. You need to wear clothes because you’re leaving the house and you want to make a little bit more effort than pretending like you’re coming from the gym in your yoga pants when you really were just sitting on the couch. My errand uniform is pretty standard. I usually stick to a t-shirt and shorts. I live in South Florida, so you’d be hard pressed to find me wearing anything but shorts when I’m running around during the day. My favorite t-shirts and jean shorts are from the Target Universal Thread collection. They are so soft and flexible. They honestly fit like pajamas but look like regular clothes. I made the I AM A PERFCKED MOM t-shirts using their sensory friendly v-necks.
More than errands
Sometimes, I get to attend a social gathering. Maybe a birthday party or a school event or a family dinner. For these occasions, I like to put a little more effort into looking nice. I’ve really gotten into the t-shirt + jumper look. It’s not as easy to nurse in, but I feel cool and trendy but also like I’m in pajamas, so it’s a win win. I’m trying to attend more social events and even plan my own. I’m working on some perfcked mom meet-up events, so stay tuned for that!
All dressed up
If I take the time to attempt a winged eyeliner, you better believe I’m tryin’ to look nice. This look is more rare these days, but she still makes an appearance. Usually a funky outfit I’ve been saving in my closet for a special occasion. For example, I had my 10 year high school reunion a few months ago. We had a wedding this summer. I’ve gone to brunch with friends. I use those events as opportunities to dress up and figure out what my new style is like.
The first time I went shopping after having baby, I felt so rejuvenated. I let myself discover what styles I was gravitated toward and try on pieces I normally wouldn’t. Clothes fit my body differently. And I need clothes that are more functional. I need clothes that allow me access to nurse. I need straps big enough to conceal my thick nursing bra straps. I need space for my bigger boobs. I need clothes that are flexible enough for me to drop down on the floor with baby.
For now, my crop top days are over. I just don’t feel right in them anymore. But I’m enjoying finding new pieces that express my sense of style and I’m enjoying dressing my new body.
Did you notice a change in your wardrobe after having baby? Let me know in the comments!
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