Dear Moms: There’s No Right Way To Do This

There is to right time or right way to do any of this parenting thing. The best any of us can do is spend the time to observe and get to know our own babies.

Baby slept seven hours last night. SEVEN! She’s a day short of seven weeks. I’m not holding my breath quite yet because I know today there’s a chance I’ll be up every hour. But now I know she’s capable of that long of a stretch. And that’s a big milestone for us to hit.

Of course my husband was thrilled when I told him, racing past me as he chased after dreams of sleep training and having our bedroom back and alone time. But I brought him back down to reality real quick.

Nothing good will come of us rushing her and forcing her. The truth is she’s a pretty decent sleeper. She’s been giving us around four or five hours every night. She goes down at around the same time every night and wakes up at the same time. And my plan is to stick to the natural rhythm that’s she’s showing me and doing what I can to help her sleep longer between waking.

Right now she sleeps in the Fischer Price Rock and Play next to my bed. Our intention was to have her sleep in the Pack and Play in our room, but when we brought her home from the hospital that first night she just wasn’t having it. I had already set up the Rock and Play and it was sitting there begging me to try it. So I did. And she’s been sleeping like a champ in it ever since.

Every sleep expert and online article told me to never let my baby sleep in the Rock and Play. That first night I stayed up for hours Googling all the ways I was ruining my daughter by doing this. First, its not a flat surface, which is a big no-no. They also said she could get a flat head. Then there’s all the talk about how she’ll never be able to sleep in her crib or without constant motion.

But she was sleeping! Soundly. I wasn’t going to fuck with that.

I know she will eventually sleep in her crib. It might take some trial and error, but we’ll figure it out. It’s like my dad told me when I was potty training my step son. “Everyone figures it out eventually. Kids aren’t walking around school in diapers”. And it’s true. She isn’t going to be a tiny baby sleeping in a Rock and Play next to my bed forever. I know we’ll get her into a crib and not long after she’ll be getting in her big girl bed and then soon she won’t need me to tuck her in anymore.

My husband was telling me why he thinks it’s important we transition her to the crib early. He says with his first son they kept him sleeping in his crib for far too long. And when he told his neighbor they were aghast, claiming their kid had been out of the crib far earlier. My husband explained that transitioning at the right time is important so that the kid gains independence and healthy habits.

That’s all well and good. But both of my step sons are great sleepers. They have no issues falling or staying asleep. They stay in their own beds. It’s a battle we’ve never had to fight.

So my point is, there is to right time or right way to do any of this parenting thing. The best any of us can do is spend the time to observe and get to know our own babies. Learn their cues and patterns and rhythms. You aren’t screwing them up if you’re going against what all the “experts” say.

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