Wondering how to avoid comparison online? I’ll give you one word. Patience. Patience is a practice, not a virtue. A virtue is a behavior showing high moral standards. Patience, the act itself, is virtuous. But more importantly, it is a practice. A practice that takes consistent dedication. Like any habit or behavior, practice makes perfect.
Some days I write a blog post, sign up a new client, put on make up, meal prep, write another blog, record a video and schedule all my social media posts for the week!
Some days I stare at my computer screen willing it to type words for me.
Every day is different, but what remains the same is my willingness to do the damn thing. Some days are waaay more productive than others, but every day is a step forward. It’s all progress.
Don’t compare yesterday to today. Don’t compare your blog to hers. Don’t compare your year 1 to someone else’s year 7.
Be gentle with yourself. Be patient. Take breaks when you need them. Kick ass when you can. You’re the only metric determining your success.
Patience involves a lot of waiting. And waiting can be discouraging at times. Waiting can be synonymous with longing, with yearning, with the feeling that something is missing. Waiting is an affect of missing something, of not having. And time, it seems, has been convicted as the thief.
How To Avoid Comparison Online
My friend gave me a book recently called The Moon Divas Guidebook. It serves as a workbook with exercises for women in transition. It helps me when I need to slow down and be patient. I read through it at night.
This book asked me to write down four fears and dissect them. I was told to find the root of each fear and see if the four were connected in some way. My four fears were Mortality, Settling, Imperfection and Not Knowing. Through my analysis I realized my four fears actually were sewn together with one common thread. Time. Losing it, wasting it, not having enough of it, not knowing what to do with it.
I fear death because I’m afraid I’m going to lose my time. I fear settling because I fear I am going to waste my time. I fear imperfection because I fear I don’t have enough time. I fear not knowing because I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with my time. My biggest realization in this unpacking process was understanding that time is not mine to possess. I don’t have time to use. I live time. I am living in time and space and experiencing it.
It is easy to become possessive of time. As if it is ours alone to take advantage of, to hoard or to waste. But that just isn’t the case. Time doesn’t belong to any one of us. So no longer will I complain about not having enough time or wasting my time or biding my time. I will be patient. From now on I will embrace time for what it is. Limitless, expansive, universal. And with that much time, patience suddenly becomes an easy practice.
What are four of your fears? Try writing them down and dissecting them. Maybe they are all rooted in the same thing.
