Motherhood Is Everything All At Once And I Love It

These three. These three kids. Being their mom shakes me to my core. It pushes me over the edge. It gets me to the point where I question everything I say. Everything I do. Sometimes I feel like a total failure. Like I’m screwing them up for good. Like I don’t deserve this job. Like I’ll never be able to come back after that meltdown.

And then little moments like this spring up. Little sparks of magic perfection. They slip in and out of the day and sometimes I don’t even notice them. Sparks of joy sprinkled throughout the day. But somehow the moments of tension, frustration, and impatience are so much louder.

I remember this day being hard. We hiked up and down a mountain in the scorching desert heat. We drove for hours. Argued over where to catch the sunset. Fought over who would eat what. Who would sit where. Who could build a better sand castle. When I look back on this day I remember myself being sweaty and short-tempered and sore and loud.

And, yes, I was all of those things. The day did have hard moments. But it also had picture perfect moments. Sweet moments. Silly moments. Peaceful moments. Kind moments. Memorable moments. Magic moments.

I’m so glad I take a million photos throughout the day to prove just how sweet and magical and full of love my life is. It’s everything all at once and I’m so lucky.

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